I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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