You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
