We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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