we have officially lost it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
