then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
