brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
