is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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