You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
