What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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