I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
