okay pat passed out under dana's car
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
