That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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