Im at strip club and am horny
My pussy is not your playground.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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