11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
