Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
