its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
