If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
