She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
