Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
