that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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