No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she told me i tasted like america
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
