Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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