life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
