kristin has been a bad kristin
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
