So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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