Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
