I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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