If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
