think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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