This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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