Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
