I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
