He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
