Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
