You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
