it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
