The brown eye won't let me do that either.
This house was built for laser tag.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
