69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
