I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You're earring is so big in my mouth
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
