Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
