it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
