remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
