I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
