Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
