so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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