no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He? As in you personified your dick?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
