Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
420 ftw
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
