hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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