You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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