dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
