They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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